please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
