In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Randomize
