Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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