I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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