the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
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