I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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