I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
It's just like the Real World with babies
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
