no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
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