we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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