there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
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