i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
