i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
