Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
