So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Randomize
