Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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