I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
