this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
