no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Randomize