the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
