I have demons in me.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize