Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Randomize
