im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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