No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
