I've blown a few things in my day
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
A bitchslap is in order.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
