Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
