the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
