I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
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