Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning