i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.