so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.