to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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