We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
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