Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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