quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
