i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
