I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Randomize