Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
