She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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