No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
