i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
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French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
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So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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