dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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