We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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