We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
