i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
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