remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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