Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
