Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
