...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
