Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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