Will you blow on my dice?
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
