Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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