Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
