i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
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