Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
