Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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