what day is it and did you see me today?
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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