You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
