I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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