For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
