I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
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