I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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