I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
