I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize
