i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
This house was built for laser tag.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
