I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
