I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
