Where is the hickey?
you traded sex for a burrito?
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
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