Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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