is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize