how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
