glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Pooping to opera.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
