walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
